10 Ways to Honor My Vision

The repetitive nature of life is where the lessons exist.

  • To what degree do I resist the complacency in my life?
  • To what degree do I resist my own wisdom?
  • If I’m not happy today, where will that come from?

You already know that if you have a goal or vision of what you want, you also need a solid plan to make it happen.

Here are the active elements where performance gaps can be identified.

10 Ways to Honor the Integrity of My Vision

  1. I know exactly what I want. And I know why.
  2. I am able to understand and truthfully admit, where I am now compared to that.
  3. I know what’s needed from me in terms of effort, focus and commitment.
  4. I’m working on it. I’m doing it. I’m deeply engaged.
  5. I aware of and able to acknowledge my own interference. I know where I’m getting in my own way and doing something about it.
  6. I am willing to accept help, guidance and direction.
  7. I doing what’s necessary based on priority payoffs, and going about my day like I mean it.
  8. I’m tracking my activities and progress so that I notice trends, patterns and obstacles.
  9. I’m making adjustments as needed.
  10. I’m focusing on Who I need to be more than what I need to do. Because when I know Who I am, and I honor that, I know what to do. And I do it more effectively.

Shortcut Bonus:

The shortfalls most often occur in the gaps in your belief systems, your knowledge/understanding, and your effort.

Bridging these gaps can require a willingness to allow guidance to replace ego in your pursuits of success.

Talk with me today if you’re ready to accelerate your success.

10 Principles of Peak Performance

Some people are interested in achievement, while others are committed. What happens next is a direct result of those choices.

Here are 10 Principles that help create Peak Performance:

  1. Clarity of Vision- This includes specific goals and outcomes that are easily measured. It also includes an elevated vision of Self. When you know Who you are, you tend to know What to do.
  2. Self-Directed Action– Always in the direction of the desired outcomes. The pre-occupation with the vision creates inspired action. All peak performers are self-motivated.
  3. High Commitment to Personal Role and Responsibility- The relentless willingness to do what’s needed, along with the determination to see the journey through, provide resilience to overcome obstacles relatively easily.
  4. Mindset of Empowerment- The “I’ve got this” focus of active positive messaging despite setbacks are all self-generated. Self-doubt is rare.
  5. Willingness to Learn– A high desire for insights that provide a competitive edge brings an openness to engage experts.
  6. Improvement, Elevation and Expansion Focus– “What makes me better?” Past success fades, and the exuberance of what else is possible replaces complacency. Refined action displaces disappointment or fear.
  7. Engagement Hunger- There’s a high desire to push Self towards outcomes while finding personal satisfaction within the effort.
  8. Working Wisdom and Honesty- The effort is focused for maximum payoff within hierarchical priorities. There’s an understanding that effort is impaired by a variety of human factors that may require balance offsets. Peak performers tell themselves the truth about how well they are doing their part.
  9. Anticipation Sensing– The ability to see, feel and know with certainty that the desired outcomes will happen. The vision becomes inevitable because of the level of personal effort and creativity.
  10. Refinement and Enjoyment- There’s an ongoing curiosity about what might be more effective, and a recognition that even the smallest distinction could create an enormous payoff. It feels good to be immersed in the hard work that creates the desired outcomes.

In my experience as a trusted advisor to many highly successful people including; Professional Athletes, Emmy Award Winners, Fortune 500 Executives and Technology Visionary’s, this theme is consistent:

Believing in yourself is not enough.

Knowing Who you are, and the Mindset that What you want is Inevitable; are the real game-changers.

Reach out and we’ll talk about what’s important to you.

The Art of Self-Neglect

The most trying times in life are not the struggles as much as our internal dilemma:

  • Do we choose to rise up, or not?
  • Do we decide that we are bigger than this thing, or not?
  • Do we accept our capacity to work our way through?

Will we honor the truth; that we have more strength and resilience inside each of us, waiting patiently to be discovered?

In the hurry up living that we all too often find ourselves engulfed in, Where do we allow for moments of offset?

  • Offsets to stress
  • Offsets to self-neglect
  • Offsets to unhappiness
  • Offsets to unhealthy lifestyles
  • Offsets to relationship dysfunction
  • Offsets to burnout and overwhelm

Some part of us yearns for more aliveness in the choices we are making, more depth to the meanings in our lives, and greater inner peace.

The funny thing is while we may want those things; Who has the time?

Unfortunately, to choose self-neglect over anything else is unwise. as the consequences inevitably find their way too us.

Time is short. Choose wisely.

Talk to me.

  1. You’ll know the most important areas of overall life success.
  2. You’ll know what’s needed for greater personal fulfillment and happiness.
  3. You’ll know what to do next.

Healing Your Emotional Life for Good

First some background.

Everything you’ve seen, felt, and experienced has been stored away in your mind.

Even the things you didn’t want to see and hear are recorded in the background of your unconscious mind.

Besides the obvious events, this is how things get in:

Whatever you do, don’t think about the blue giraffe with the pink bow. Don’t think about that blue giraffe and pink bow. Try harder not to think about the blue giraffe and pink bow.  

In order to understand this thought, your brain has to show you the image even if you don’t want to see it. That’s the way unpleasant experiences get recorded even when you want to forget them.

Everything that has ever happened to you in your life is archived and part of your programming.

As a result, we are all on auto-pilot more than we realize.

This is how habitual ways of thinking and feeling occur within us. When your buttons get pushed it’s usually more programming than the current thing that person said or did.

What you may not know is that you have the power to take control of your emotions, and to upgrade your own programming.

Think of it like this:

Imagine an enormous white board surrounding you, filled with everything that’s happened to you and everything you’ve ever heard and experienced.

Some examples:

That thing that happened to you in 1st grade, What your mom said when you were 9, That thing you did and got hurt, That person who said you weren’t good enough, The girl who rejected you, The boy who broke your heart, The emptiness you felt when….., That person who didn’t like you, That time you felt shame, That time your feelings were ignored, That big mistake you made, …etc.

That’s a tiny sample of your unconscious world and what drives your programming.

The only way to change your programming is to get in there and erase some of the nonsense on your white board.

It doesn’t happen by talking about the specific issues.

And it won’t happen by saying these types of things over and over to yourself:

“Don’t get angry, Don’t get sad, Don’t get upset, Don’t get frustrated, Don’t get anxious, Don’t feel guilty, Don’t compare yourself,” etc….

Here’s one way that will begin to wipe away the things that don’t serve you.

Start talking to your body, and telling parts of it that you love them.  

As the author of The Accelerated Healing of Chronic Illness, I have found these conversations to be highly effective in erasing disempowering unconscious programing. I’ve also done it with hundreds of people so I have good evidence to support this.

Here’s how you begin to heal your emotional life for good:

  1. Find someplace quiet where you won’t be interrupted for 5 minutes.
  2. Close your eyes, and scan your body from a place of curiosity, and just be aware of how you feel and what you notice. That will take less than 30 seconds.
  3. Tell your body and a variety of body parts that you love them. Simply tune into a particular body part and say,” I love you”, and feel grateful for that body part. Go slowly and take about 10 seconds for each body part before moving on.

It might look like this:

I tune into my heart. And I might even imagine an image of my heart, or simply focus on connecting  with my heart. I could put my hand over my heart to increase the feeling of connection as well.

Next, while feeling grateful for my heart, either out loud or to myself I say, ” I love you heart”,….and …“Thank you for all you do for me.”  I do that slowly and meaningfully, while feeling grateful for my heart.  That’s it.

  1. notice what happens… Are you aware of anything changing; either in how you feel, or in any imagined image of your heart before compared with after? Do feel differently in any way? There is no right or wrong about what happens, or doesn’t happen. Either way is perfectly fine.
  2. Next, pick another body part and do the same thing. Notice if you sense that some particular part of your body might benefit. Try different parts of your body out of curiosity. Try your liver, brain, eyes, nervous system, thyroid, spleen, lungs, etc….Keep going to different body parts for about 5 minutes and you are done.

Now that you’re done, scan your body again, and be curious how you feel overall, and if you feel or notice any other changes.

This is a profoundly powerful exercise. It was part of my self-heaiing process that allowed me to heal myself from eight years of undiagnosed chronic Lyme Disease. It works.

Try this out for yourself without expectations of any kind. Just be willing to see what happens for yourself.  Make it part of your daily routine by setting aside 5 minutes at about the same time every day,  or as often as you like.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised. Enjoy!

If you want to learn how to accelerate your own evolution, and release the hidden emotions driving your behaviors reach out here; jeff@peakresultscoaching.com

 

3 Little Ways to Mess Up Any Marriage

Are you doing them?

Where do we get our relationships skills?  Who teaches us how to have a passionate, loving, committed marriage?  Were your parents a good example of how to create an extraordinary relationship?  If you didn’t have a good role model, who did you learn from?

If you’re like most couples today, you are just winging it, and it’s not working.  There is no plan to make it better, and there is no clear understanding of what your partner needs, nor how they communicate.    Maybe you even stopped trying to figure them out because they haven’t done much for you lately.

Here’s a dose of reality:  About 50% of first marriages end in divorce, over 60% of second marriages, and over 70% of third marriages all end in divorce.  Why?  You already know the answer.

So, marriage sucks, and now people want to just live together.  Here’s an interesting fact:  Within the first 5 years, 45% of live-in couples have gone their separate ways.  So much for the idea of just living together in loving bliss, because that’s not working either.

The hard truth is that most couples don’t know how to make a relationship thrive.  Based on my relationship repair work over the last several years, here are the

3 Little Mistakes That Mess Up Any Marriage:

1.  Showing Little Appreciation-  It’s very clear that men feel unappreciated by their women.  It is by far their largest complaint.  They feel unrecognized for all the hard work that they do to provide for the family and it builds into a grumbling resentment over time.  When men feel unappreciated, it becomes much easier for their attention to go where they are appreciated.

Women also feel unappreciated, but it’s different. Most women feel that they struggle for attention from their partner which is an aspect of appreciation.  When they are communicating to their man, and he is distracted by watching TV, on the computer, or working on something, and not paying full attention it reduces trust and respect.  When trust and respect start to disappear, attraction is reduced.

2Misunderstanding Communication –Men and women have different communication styles, and it leads to challenges.  Men typically communicate in short direct ways, while women weave in more details and longer flowing volumes of communication.  Men can have a short attentions span and be asking themselves “what’s the point?”, when listening to their woman talk about something on her mind.  While women know they have a point that they are getting across perfectly clearly.  Unfortunately they are not talking to another woman who would normally get it.  So men get frustrated particularly because they want to fix everything, (huge mistake) and pay less attention, which leads to a loss of attraction, trust and respect.

3.  Assuming Bad Intentions- Everyone makes mistakes, but the real challenges come when one partner believes that the other did something wrong intentionally.  For example: “I’m working my ass off and she only cares that there is money for her to spend, she doesn’t care about me.”. or “I’ve seen the way he looks at other women, he doesn’t care about me”.  I had a situation recently where a woman called her husband “lazy”.   He didn’t take it particularly well understandably, but when we dug into the real reason for the comment, it had nothing to do with him.  It was just a comment that came from frustration about something else.  When we assume that a partner intended to hurt us, or doesn’t care, or is not interested, it often leads to bitterness and resentment.

What are you doing that is hurting your relationship?  What do you not know that you are doing that is eroding trust and respect?  How are you ruining the attraction that your partner has for you?

In my experience, most challenges can be resolved relatively quickly when couples learn new strategies that actually work to create loving, passionate committed marriages.  If you are interested in learning how you might repair your relationship, and completely shift your marriage, email jeff@peakresultscoaching.com  The stakes are incredibly high, and affect the financial and emotional health of both partners, the children, and extended family. The greatest gift you that could give your children is the model of successful, committed, loving relationship.  It’s also exactly what you deserve.

Life Coaching…What’s It All About?

Do you need a Life Coach?

Let’s face it. Along the road of life, we all hit a speed bump or two. Sometimes we  need help navigating over or around them so they don’t stop us in our tracks. Fact is, most of us seek advice from time to time. Informally we may consult with a spouse, other family member, friends, even colleagues at work. But, when talking about business, relationships, or personal matters, answers can be elusive. Most people simply don’t know what works best for the difficult challenges we all face.  Sometimes it takes a professional whose expertise can bridge the gap between our struggle and real solutions.

That’s what life coaching is all about.

All life coaches are different based upon a combination of their personal life experience, coaching experience and training.  Those 3 factors make all the difference in their ability to help you create real results.

Our particular focus is on 3 Key areas that affect happiness and success:

1.  Beliefs- What do you believe about yourself and your potential for success and happiness.  What do you believe about your current life situation?  How do these beliefs affect your confidence and your ability to live the life you want?  What you believe to be true…is.  What you believe is the foundation of your success or failure before you being.   We evaluate whether your beliefs are serving you or not.

2.  Fears- Does fear hold you back in any area of your life?  Fear of failure…fear of success…fear of rejection…fear of not being good enough…fear of change…fears from the past…fear of the future?  People often have some level of fear that holds them back.  We address fears so  that people become free to pursue what they really want.

3.  Strategies- Are the strategies that you are using in your personal life, your work and in your relationships effective?  As an example, most people are using bad strategies in relationships, and it’s a recipe for stress and loss of attraction.  We look at strategies as either Beneficial or not… Helpful or not…Useful or not…Successful or not.  We teach proven strategies that can be implemented immediately.

A life coach can be a very valuable investment in the future that you want.  We believe that with the right help anything is possible.  We work with people at all levels to help them become happier, more successful, and enjoy their lives.

Do you want to overcome stress caused by work issues or rocky relationships at home? Do you have a desire to do something big but find yourself stuck? Is there something that affects your self confidence? Do you know you could do better at work, in social situations, even on the athletic field, but something is holding you back?

Here’s an interesting fact.  Most successful people use some type of coaching.  Imagine an Olympic or professional athlete deciding that they don’t need a coach and can do it all by themselves.  That’s a recipe for failure.  That’s why most CEO’s, successful business leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs use some form of coaching to take their lives, relationships, careers and business to the next level.  Why not you?

Our busy lives need outside guidance to help us become our best.  If you are interested in creating more outstanding results in your personal life, business or your relationships email us to jeff@peakresultscoaching.com   We have the expertise, experience, and perspective to help you create the life you want.  If results matter to you, we have the answers to the areas of life that matter the most.  The life you deserve is closer than you think. Now it’s time to get the help you need to make it happen.

No one is so perfect that they don’t need the guidance of others from time to time.–  Anon

 

 

Your Self Confidence Misses You!

Maybe it’s time to reconnect.   

In case you didn’t know or forgot, self confidence is the foundation of happiness and success.  How you feel about yourself matters.  It’s not a little thing.  It’s everything!

It determines your willingness to go after the things that make you happy.  It expands the possibilities in your life.  It gives you a real sense of worth.  It’s the intangible that allows for the greatness in you to pour out.  (fyi-You do have greatness in you.)

Whatever you believe to be true…is!  Whatever you believe about yourself is the foundation of your success and happiness before you begin.

Let me tell you a secret…You were born with confidence.  You were born to struggle through adversity and challenge, and come out on the other side smarter, stronger, and more resilient.  You were born to make mistakes, and to learn, and grow, and stretch yourself.

Maybe you forgot that you are this ingenious survivor who can withstand any challenge that comes your way.  Maybe you even forgot some of the lessons of previous tough times as I have.  Did you know that everyone struggles from time to time?  Everyone goes through their own version of some brutal adversity that shakes them to their core.

Who did you become as a result of going through those tough times?  Did you become stronger, or weaker?  Did you become less of a person somehow, or more?  At the depth of the greatest challenges in your life exists a moment... A moment where you make a decision; to pull yourself up out of the funk, or lay in it.   You either resolve to do whatever it takes, or give up.

Who we become is measured in those moments, and it affects our self confidence. Our story traps us, or frees us.   The truly amazing thing is that you can lay in the funk and give up for 10 years, and then just all of a sudden decide that you’ve had enough.  The life that sucked for so long can change instantly.  Your focus can shift even now, and you can discover a hunger and a determination to fully LIVE your life.  You can reach inside of yourself and remember this incredible courage.  The courage that gives you the strength to say ENOUGH!

Courage allows you to remember who you are.  Courage is the fuel to ignite a blaze of confidence within you.  You have always been courageous!  You have always been brave!  Courage is your path back to confidence.

Sometimes we forget, and need to be reminded that it’s easy to find just 20 seconds of courage to step up and face your fear.  20 seconds to reconnect with your confidence.  20 seconds that can change your life.

Self Confidence is the reason people with less talent, less ability, and less intelligence become happier, and more successful, than people who have much more of those same things.

Who gives you self confidence?  You do!  Who gets hurt if you don’t feel good about yourself?  You do!  And unfortunately so do the people around you.

Everything you have done well or poorly in your life; mistakes or success… has brought you to this moment in time …right here, right now…reading these words… You have the power within you of incredible influence.  You can imagine beginning to have an understanding, to live a larger, more meaningful life, and impact those around you.  What will you do with it?  Will you step up and connect with your confidence and courage, to do what you really want to do, or always regret that you did not.

This might be just another article to read, or maybe this is your life calling…

You could choose to do nothing.  How long does the pain of regret  last anyway?  Your future is waiting to be written.  Looking back, what did you want it say about you?    Someone,…right now,  is making a new decision,… maybe that’s you.