This is Thanksgiving week, and the official beginning of the Holiday Season. A very special time of year…at least for many of us. But for others, this same Season is just a trigger to remember their unhappiness. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a reminder to be grateful for the good things we have in our lives.
- What if your husband or wife is having an affair and you just found out?
- What if your spouse has been taking you for granted?
- What if they have been ignoring your needs for way too long?
- What if you feel no connection or intimacy with them?
- What if you are no longer in love with them even though you might still love them somewhat?
- What if you feel sad, alone and empty even though you are still with them?
- What if you can’t communicate without it turning into a disagreement?
- What if in the season of hope, you feel hopeless?
Since you are part of a couple, I wonder how your partner feels…Are they happy or is the unhappiness yours alone?
Here’s something to think about…Another year has just about passed by…
What kind of man or woman have you become?
How have you personally grown in your ability to influence the direction of your relationship?
What new skills have you acquired that are immediately helpful with your partner?
What have you personally initiated to transform your relationship?
What specifically have you tried to do to change your situation? Make a list…how many things are on it?
People believe that they are so powerless in their unhappy marriages. It’s not even remotely true.
You can decide today, right here in this moment, that you are going to initiate the possibility of change in your relationship.
It starts by owning what YOU can do…
Not by telling yourself a story about the past. Not by trying to get them to do this or that. Not by expecting or demanding something back. Not by pointing the finger of blame.
Obviously none of that will help to repair or restore anything.
You can easily just decide to do something or say something simple that tells your partner how much you appreciate them as a man/woman…mother/father…or person who has been part of your life.
You can apologize today for your part in any disconnect without even getting specific. You could just say, “ I am sorry if I have forgotten to tell you that I appreciate you.”
You could say,” I’m sorry if it ever seemed like I had been so focused on me that I forgot about you. I want you to know that I appreciate you so much.”
You could add, “I love you.”
You could do or say more.
You could take responsibility for YOUR part.
We are not that different, we all share these foundational things we want from life.
- We all want to be happy.
- We all want to feel appreciated.
- We all want to feel like we are part of something special, that we belong.
Remember that what you do, and fail to do is always reflected in the outcome of your relationship.
Decide to DO more…and show your gratitude for them. Unless you want another year to pass you by.