The Real Reason Your Life is Not Changing and 3 Things to Do About It

Do you know better but are still stuck?

Resistance!  Resistance is what keeps you small. It prevents you from stepping up in your life to do the things that are required if you want something to change. It’s the defensiveness that blocks out the truth….you are missing out and have forgotten what your courage looks like.

Defensiveness is what prevents the guidance and input that resonates with that truth. You keep up the walls to protect what little is left of your self-worth. Maybe you have been beating yourself up for months or even years over something that needs to change and you have done nothing about it.

The smaller your supply of self-worth, the more you have to protect it at all costs even when you are just plain wrong. Being wrong would confirm your greatest fear…that you aren’t good enough. It would be the final straw that might collapse the balance of your worth and then you would be left with…. What?… Nothing?….or… Something so small you might be a shell of your former self?   None of that is true at all!

Here are 3 things to do right now if this resistance resonates with you:

1. Get More Clarity- Do you know exactly and specifically what you want in your life? My experience is that most people are not that clear. For example: If you want a great relationship, what does that mean for you? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What are you doing with each other? How are you interacting? How do you want to feel when you are around them? How do you want to handle misunderstandings? What are the things that you really want to agree on? What’s most important to you about it? What does it look like one year from now?

Most people can’t be bothered taking a little bit of time to think and dig deeper into the details of what they want. So the outcome is cloudy thinking and ambiguous targets that never get reached.

2. Lighten Up – Lighten up on yourself. Take a break from beating yourself up day in and day out. It’s like finally getting the car of your dreams and going out every morning with a crow bar and beating on it. Are you doing this to yourself? Be kinder to yourself.  Yes things haven’t gone the way you want them too, but you get to decide how you treat yourself and everyone around you. Decide to be nicer to you.

Ask yourself How can I treat myself with more kindness today?  We all need more fun, more playfulness, more silliness more light heartedness and a lot more laughter. You get to decide how much of that to create for you and those around you.

3. Be Courageous- It takes courage to change your life. It takes courage to tell yourself the truth. It takes courage to admit that you were wrong. It takes courage to want a life that is more than you might have right now. Stop blaming yourself or everyone else. Take responsibility for the things in your life that you CAN control.

Courage is available in small amounts all day. Can you find 20 seconds of courage right now to tell someone you were wrong? Can you find the 20 seconds of courage to do that uncomfortable thing that you know will open up a new possibility in your life and risk the rejection anyway? You can… Will you?

Courage is the difference all the time, every time. We are much stronger and more resilient than we think. We have so much courage inside of us and we all forget that from time to time. What would be possible if you just decided to be courageous every day…. just for a few 20 second intervals… what might change? Take that multiples of 20 seconds a day out over the next 3 months and you can imagine the impact on your happiness and self worth. How much better will you feel about YOU?

As you read this, maybe you are feeling a certain way and wondering about your courage even now and maybe you are ready to get back to your busyness and do nothing based on what you just read. That’s OK…its just a choice. That’s also your resistance creeping in.

You can embrace your resistance and get totally curious about it, and hug it and love it enough to change it, or you can go kick its’ ass and remember that 20 seconds of courage isn’t really all that much. Decide!

March 21, 2013
Contact us

Jeff Forte CSIC CME
PEAK Results Coaching
2389 Main St. Glastonbury, CT 06033


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