I saw the angel in the marble and I carved until I set him free. -Michelangeo
Who are you? Tell me who you are…
Stop for a second! I know you’re busy. But you’re also playful, so take just 45 seconds to answer the question- Who are you?
Just go for it You will get more out of this post, I promise.
Ready? Tell me about who you are…Just complete this sentence:
I am a… _______ and I am an…________ and I am… _______ and I am…_________etc… keep going for just 30 seconds more.
If you did this, you just described how you see yourself. This is your identity. And once we have an identity then we will do everything we can to remain consistent with this identity.
Following this identity you can then create a vision of who you want to become- some higher level or expanded identity. Reasonable enough right?
This vision is an essential key to shaping your future. Who are you at your core? Who is this incredible you? The you waiting to be discovered inside that wants to live life full out, and push the edges of what is possible.
You also have a vision for who you are in every area of your life. Answer briefly the following:
Who are you as a mother/father?
Who are you as a wife/husband?
Who are you as a lover?
Who are you in your work?
I believe that the highest vision of who you are is the key to unlocking your potential in every area of your life. This highest vision gives you the power to experience deeper and more meaningful success in every area of your life.
Here is an example of why this is important:
Let’s say you tell me that your vision for being a Wife is that you are loving and supportive to your husband, and that you show your appreciation to him regularly for all that he does for you and the family, that you are always there for him when he needs you, and that you take time to check on what you can do for him regularly, that you make sure you laugh and have fun when you are together.
Sounds pretty good right? Lots of husbands are wishing that you were their wife right now.
However, with some feedback from me you might decide that there is a higher vision of who you are as a Wife. Not what you can be, but who you really are. And you accept this higher vision as your identity in the present, not in the future. The difference is enormous. It is you today, right now.
Now as a wife:
You go out of your way to make your husband feel absolutely certain that you love him, and that you show him every day that he is the most important thing in your life. You give your love freely because it is who you are, and why you are here. You anticipate what he needs and give it to him. You take time to surprise him with the little ways that you demonstrate your love and appreciation to him. You are happy, and he makes you even happier. You open the feminine woman that you are to him fully, and allow him to see and feel your vulnerability because it brings out his masculine presence.
You are fun and crazy and outrageous and spontaneous always making him feel great around you. You treat him like he is your hero every day, and familiarize yourself with the things that are important to him so that you can help him to grow, and encourage him by reminding him of all the success he has had whenever a rough patch hits. You also tell him that you believe in him totally, and you contribute to helping him to become even more of the man that he already is.
As you can easily imagine, the higher Vision #2 will create a happier and more fulfilling relationship. Is this easy? No. But nothing extraordinary is easy. There are many couples living lives of incredible joy because of the vision that they set for their relationship. Why not you?
By the way, in case you were wondering, I could have easily used an example of how a Husband with a higher vision might treat his wife, so I will:
He makes her feel like a goddess, and anticipates her needs and makes her feel certain that she is the most important thing in the world to him. He gives her his undivided attention whenever she talks to him, and never tries to fix anything that she needs to talk about unless she asks him for his opinion. He volunteers to help her with household things regularly because she does so much as it is, and he totally gets it, helping her to relax and feel less stressed. He shows his appreciation for her constantly and surprises her with genuine compliments for specific things about her that he finds amazing.
Her needs come first, and he makes himself available for the things that are important to her. He is constantly surprising her in so many ways, and she never knows what wonderful things he is going to do next. He is her Rock of Gibraltar, the strong man that she can always confide in and count on, because he can handle her when she is emotional and vulnerable and he knows exactly what to do when she needs him. Sometime she doesn’t even need to say anything, and with just a look, he knows exactly what to do.
She feels a deep connection with this man because they have lots of intimate moments, and they do not have to be sexual. He looks deeply into her eyes often and smiles at how happy she makes him, and because she is so relaxed around this man, she becomes even more feminine and that brings out incredible passion between them, where she can easily lose herself in his arms.
Is this higher vision even realistic? Yes. Are there people out there who are striving to make this vision the standard for themselves? Absolutely! You might even adopt this vision, or parts of it, if it was important enough to you.
You can think of the vision that you want, but in order it to create results, you must own it completely. It must resonate with both your heart and your mind. Thought alone is not enough.
You have 3 choices:
1. Live YOUR Vision.
2. Live SOMEONE ELSE’S vision.
3. Live NO Vision, and wander aimlessly through life.
So, what’s the downside of having this higher vision? Maybe you only do a few of the things that I listed. But even those few things will create a greater impact on your relationship than would have ever been possible. In fact, they might transform your marriage.
So, you light up your spouse in a way that they haven’t experienced from you, and it creates an incredible bond between you that allows the relationship to grow even more, and the intimate connection to deepen. Not such a bad thing is it?
With this type of vision, the future looks much brighter than the present. Do you feel that your intimate relationship is going to get even better every day? With the right vision you should be excited about the future because you know without a doubt that it will only get better.
This new vision helps expand your identity of who you are. And once you own this new vision, you will do everything in your power to remain consistent with it.
Now you understand what is possible when you take on a new identity based upon a higher vision of who you are in any area of your life. It’s a discovery of your true self combined with the courage and commitment to live a larger version of YOU than what you show the world today.
In the effort to live up to the standard of a higher vision you will grow and contribute in so many ways that you will feel totally alive, and happier than you have ever been- guaranteed.
When you know who you are, you know what to do. -Count of St. Germaine